BrainDump
I’m Tired
Everyone says try a nap
But I can’t sleep during the day
Grind now, sleep later
Worrying about whether
or not everyone is ok
But I gotta be ok to make sure y’all ok
Am I ok?
I’m tired
If one peg falls - I’m dead
So I stay up
I’m up when the money is
But I’m tired
Pacing back and forth when I should be sleep
Stay scared about shit that ain’t got shit to do with me
Moving $$ like my name uhaul
DoorDash, Sell pussy, Tutor ya kid
I do it all
Boss Bitch shoulders
Call me heavyweight
But I’m tired
It’s gon be alright
It’s gon be alright
It’s gon be alright
But if I have to keep saying it
When will it be all right?
I can’t get caught up in the what ifs, and the shoulda couldas, the when and wheres
Expectations are bullshit
Boundaries are the shit
My phone stay on DND
Had to close off who
Has access to me
Started seeing the way I choose to live my life differently
Owning up to the choices I make
Consequences I’ll have to take
Cause I gotta bend not break
But I’m tired
But that’s the thing about sleep
We wake up
We get up
We get tired
We sleep
Silver Lining
I looked up and saw the silver lining today
One the edge of a cloud
I saw it while I walked to class
When I stepped in my family home
When it hurt
Never when it mattered
When I laugh
When she laughs
When he laughs
When we laugh
When I cry
When she cries
When they cry
When we cry
At the protest
At the burial
At the funeral
At the memorial
When we are together
There it always was
And there is nerve was
But I see it now
It’s in the possibilities
In what is and what isn’t
In what could be and what there is
It’s our truth
It’s right there
What I want
I want to feel safe and hold hands after movie night. I want to travel the world and know I’ll always have someone to do direction. I want to live with all of my friends on a big plot of land and run a record store. I want to bring out all the happiness I have inside of me and have it be accepted too.
Here We Go Again
When given the chance to be vulnerable or avert attention - I’ll have the latter. I hold grudges. I give the silent treatment. I give off bad vibes.
Feel uncomfortable.
Feel unfulfilled.
Feel. Bad.
I attach after a rigorous test. I make some mistakes. They do too. We play tug of war with our words. I play along with the games and I plot revenge on the low. It’s really toxic. You gas light me.
Noted.
Vacay
Vacation means being mean
I’m doing what the fuck I want bitch
I’m on vacation
We on da roof
Shot o clock...now
Links be sneaky
Links be da opposite of sneaky
Wearing less going out more
Leaving niggas to figure it tf out
And doing shit you love
Period
Vacation is freedom for black folks
Vacation is refusing to work
Vacation is doing the things you cant stand...and laughing.
Talking about the hard shit and moving past it. Bonfire. Bubbles. Music.
Why Tho?
Why is niggas always doing funny shit while trying to holler at a bitch? Literally just heard a whole 7 string orchestra in a song called SexBeat. Yes Ludacris kills his verse. But the cherubs and soft chords just lead up to a bombardment of thuds and whooms. I guess it is a sexbeat. Building up - with little to no payoff and nothing to show for it. Like i just think of the hood niggas in long shirts and jean shorts talking about shit - shut up.