#DEEPTHOTS: A bitch don’t dream of labor...but these bills, chile.

Somebody Lying

I was eating a bagel while trying to pass a poop and started thinking. What if I listed all of the vague, weird, dumbfuck things people told me as a kid when it came to my future? It would start with, “You can do anything you put your mind to.” HA. To be completely fucking honest, the day after my attempt (I wrote about su*cide experiences, here.) I vividly remember an administrator telling me to “keep my head on straight.” I mean did those humdrum bitches ever actually believe that shit? How are you telling me I can do anything I want but complaining to your students about how you never expected to “end up” as a highschool teacher? I deleted my Facebook because I was so tired of seeing all of these fake sensei ass mothafuckas with trash ass lives tell me that I need to get up on the good foot. Y’all know I can’t do the fake - if I’m acting I need a check! No performance is free, baby. The adults in my life were more focused on keeping my innocence instead of actually preparing me for the world - fuck y’all.

I’m Done Working for/with Y’all because of...Y’all

I’m not working for me sus. No deadass. I never think to myself - hey self, let’s work today! I have short existentialist anxiety attacks in the morning. Giving myself mini pep talks about having to go to work again. It’s ok all this meaningless work will add up to something someday right? I’ll muster up enough strength to slave my life away, have my ideas and likeness stolen and commodified, and feel underwhelmed...constantly. Ascribe to mediocrity! Make yourself small for others, girl! That won’t catch up to you! Keep piling your demons in the closet, henny! So after rigorous mirror talks I am finally able to go to work and low and behold I arrive to immense chaos and disarray. Companies that can’t afford to pay people. Or don’t pay on time. Companies asking for sympathy through rough times, short staff, and “lazy” workers. Girl… How are y’all this broke? How can you be that broke - as an entity - terrible infrastructure, backwards rules, terrible culture...during a panna cotta? How can y’all have the gull to think ANYBODY has to put up with y’alls bullshit. Break up with him sis - him being your job (and him...talking to you Meg). Take a chance on yourself, be open to change, basically act as opposite to your workplace as possible. Find joy ( *pro tip* it’s not at your desk).

Only Thing Going Up Is the Rent

Now that y’all dumbfucks have convinced yourselves voting for a rapist and a cop who gave you $600 for a whole year was gon save us - everything is cool huh? Well guess what fags: Joe Budden said Bills are still due POORS! Jobs still paying shit, not letting folks work from home - schools re-opening and teachers have less resources than before. Pay rate definitely ain’t gon up. So what are we supposed to do? We meaning the working class folk of America. I say give it up girl. Make ya own job. Finally put all those placid sayings they told us as a kid to work. I’m a certified hu$tla - I get my money however, but my generational wealth my nigga? The shit that is going to last? My impact on the world and those who love me? Now baby that’s work. I’m trading in my punch card for my journal. I’m not explaining to people why I’m sick. Or kissing ass so my hard work can get noticed. Or I’ll literally die trying. Yeah I’m pretty radical I mean I have spongebob underpants I’m pretty fucking sick. But being radical? Actively? Just looks like a mean bitch. Nobody likes you cause you’re a killjoy who always has to bring up everything wrong in the world. Or you’re fetishized as the one who keeps everyone in check, forced to be the sole point of accountability. You can’t win in the world.

Yeah, keep it.

I’ll figure it out.

Ok, and first of all...

Y’all ain’t got it. And I’m not making up for it. My labor is ~priceless~ baby. My energy? Being used for me. My people? We gone be good. You - can go fuck yourself!